Blondes
- What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? Change.
- What did the blonde do when she heard on the news that over 90% of accidents occur at the home? She moved.
- What do you call a Smart blonde? A Golden Retriever.
- Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? To see what was on the other side.
- Why are blondes hurt by people's words? Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
- How do blonde braincells die? Alone.
- How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in their ear.
- How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer? There's white-out on the screen.
- How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer? There's writing on the white-out.
- Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears? So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
- Why did the blonde drive into the ditch? To turn the blinker off.
- Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes? Because they go answer the door.
- There were three third graders walking down the street a redhead, brunnette, and a blonde. Which one had the best figure? The Blonde, she was 18.
- What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Spot.
- What's the difference between a blonde guy and a blonde girl? The blonde girl's sperm count is higher.
- What did the blonde say when she found out she was going to have a baby? I hope it's mine.
- Did you hear about the blonde who died drinking milk? The cow fell on her.
- Why did the blonde snort Sweet-n-Low? She thought it was Diet Coke.
- What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios? Oh look, Daddy...Doughnut seeds.
- Do you know what is black and blue and found in a ditch? A man who told one to many blonde jokes.
Blondevision
A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the
salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then
she waited
a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
Skydiving
A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says 'Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.' The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing 'That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!' Confused, he says, 'Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.' After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, 'How many is a Brazilian?'
